Well, I guess thats it for now. I finished my radiation therapy last week. Now comes what could be the hardest part... waiting.

I have some follow-up appointments this month, but I won’t be having another PET scan until June or July. This PET scan will determine if there is any residual cancer left inside me. If there is, I have no idea what will happen... probably go back to chemotherapy or something. I’ve been reading a lot of the message boards for people living with cancer, and it seems like every post I read is about someone who has gone through treatment for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and now it has come back... I probably shouldn’t be reading this stuff.

I still don’t feel close to normal yet. I imagine it will be a long time until I feel strong and able again. I’ve spent so much time nursing my health at home and at the hospital. Its very weird not going into the hospital for either chemotherapy or radiation... feels kind of lonely, believe it or not. Its a strange thing when you’ve been living for so many months consumed by a fight against cancer, and then it just stops... and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

I can’t help but feel a bit worried. I’ve put so many aspects of my life on hold to fight cancer, and the pressure of waiting for this scan can sometimes wake me up at night.

But I have to pat myself on the back a bit. I made it through a tough cancer treatment. Not everybody can say that they made it through... and there were times when people thought that I wouldn’t! Now, its wait and see. I’m trying not to focus on it, but thats easier said than done.